Oxymorons

Burdens and Blessings

My life is an oxymoron. I guess that’s way better than BEING a moron!

ox·y·mo·ron

ˌäksəˈmôrˌän/

noun

a figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction (e.g.,faith unfaithful kept him falsely true ).

Yes, contradictory emotions, experiences, truths, and circumstances are happening all at once in my life. While there are too many to share with you here in this small space, I’ll give you peek into just the last few weeks. If you feel like you’ve been on a roller coaster when you’re done reading, well, you have a little idea what life is like for us in this season!

  • We are now “home” in our passport country for a season. People say, “Welcome Home” and part of me feels that way. There is another part that is at home in Africa.
  • Our hearts are still healing from Chris’ earthly absence and, yet, God continues to show us how to L-I-V-E, and laugh, and love.
  • We are planning Joel and Julia’s wedding while grieving the loss of Joel’s father too. BUT GOD has knitted our families together in a powerful way, particularly doing a beautiful work in the two mamas (Julianne and I) as we walk this road together.
  • I have responsibilities beyond which any one person should bear, BUT GOD is, step-by-step, providing for that and guiding me. He has allowed me to see a glimpse into the way He is working behind the scenes on my behalf.
  • My heart continues to have intense longings that keep me on my knees, BUT He is drawing me closer and closer to Himself and leading me toward a place of surrender. He speaks clearly to me through His Word AND through His people and the message remains clear: “Trust me, BE STILL (or calm down, or chill out), I will provide ‘in the fullness of time…’”
  • In many ways, I am in the most difficult season of my life, BUT GOD is giving me PURPOSE and even granting me favor beyond what I deserve or expect. I am broken and weak, yet He has allowed me to be honored with things like an award from PLNU, bursting open doors of opportunity and connection that STILL have me marveling at His ways!
  • I am often painfully lonely, BUT GOD has blessed me with new friends with whom I have a deep connection, other women who share this journey, deep and amazing renewal in old friendships that bring joy to my life, and people whom God is bringing to come alongside each of my kids.
  • We are in a time of “limbo” as we wait on Him in so many ways, BUT the pieces are starting to come together! According to His grace and mercy, He is slowly revealing a plan. Stay tuned along with me as it comes into focus.
  • I have a bit of Grinch in me even as I look toward the Christmas season with all of its traditions and blessings. There’s always a empty place by my side and life just doesn’t have the sparkle it used to during these times, BUT GOD has reminded me, as recently as last night, that He is EMMANUEL, GOD WITH US and that the PRINCE OF PEACE has come. He brings JOY TO THE WORLD and to my soul. Now, THAT I can celebrate!

So, with renewed strength, I welcome this season of oxymorons! He was born to die and His death brought me LIFE. I will LIVE, despite death, and I will do it abundantly in His name!IMG_2559

This picture was taken this morning as Julianne, my “sister mom,” and I hiked and processed together.  We’ll be mother-in-laws to each other’s kids and God has brought us together for the tough AND joyful roads.  We’re choosing to celebrate because that’s what our guys taught us to do!

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

Thank you for standing with me!

Michelle

 

 

 

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