ANXIETIES

“I’m too young for this.”

“I’m too old for this.”

“It’s not goodbye. It’s see you later.”

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Another trip to O.R. Tambo International Airport in Johannesburg. It’s the fifth time in eleven days. It has become our normal but because it seems to mostly mean “Goodbye”, it just stinks. I know, some of you will say, “You chose that life – get over it.” I know, because I’ve said it. And you are partly right. We chose to follow God wherever He took us. Here we are in Lesotho but, I will be honest and say as exciting as it seemed it would be (is and can be), this part – the saying goodbye to our kids part – it stinks haholo-holo (very much).

BUT – HE is WORTHY of all of the stinkiness. ALL of IT. Kaofela!

AND – HE knows what we need and what we want AND He loves to take care of us when we don’t even know what we want or need. I’ve been slowly reading through Genesis and this past week, I studied Chapter 12. Famine in the land gives Abram a reason to seek greener pastures in Egypt. Earlier in the chapter, God had promised, “I will bless those who bless you and him who dishonors you, I will curse…and (to give) to your offspring this land (Canaan)”. Right there in those two promises alone, he’s got protection and a future. That should suffice for a lifetime. Yet as Abram enters Egypt, he fears for his life and for Sarai, his wife, and makes his own plan of protection. I follow this same strategy all too often. When things get uncomfortable and seeming uncertain, I want to grab the reigns and holler for plan B.

Peter tells us in his first letter, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under THE MIGHTY HAND OF GOD (MIGHTY HAND OF GOD – just in case you didn’t catch it) so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting ALL (ALL) of your anxieties on HIM because HE CARES FOR YOU (HE CARES FOR YOU).  Yah yah, I’ve heard it a million times, sung it even more times-just typed it twice. But it catches me freshly at this time in my life. Yes, it stinks to send Julia to California – away from us, to have Olivia up in Kenya (having the time of her life I might add) and to be so far away from our families/friends. But God did it first SENDING HIS SON and I’m pretty sure being whipped, beaten, spat on and mocked wasn’t the “time of His life.” They (the Father and Son) did it for you and for me because of OUR sin and still He cares for us and he wants to carry our anxieties.

Lord, I confess that I am anxious. Anxious to have 2 of my kiddos far away, anxious to have Michelle away in Kenya, to understand this culture more clearly, to learn language more better (-:  , to travel these roads, to go away from my house, to teach well and anxious to represent You well. I cast these worries and others onto You and I hold onto “YOU CARE FOR ME.” Help me to put myself at your feet as Mary did even when I want to follow in Martha’s footsteps – always doing, doing, doing. Thank You for your loving care, your innumerable promises and your MIGHTY HANDS. – Amen

Ntate Thabang (chris)

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